Russian Beauty
by Ima P
Summary: 2D finaly wins over the Russian death machine he met at a training camp. but Murdocs insane lust for the Russian drives 2D mad and the sake of the band and himself are on the line. Things dont get easier wen he reviels Kiva's dark secret. plz review!
1. Boredom

Boredom

Some days it feels as if Kong studios has lost all excitement. Not like when the Gorillaz had first started, when all their songs were still being written and when all personal drama- like Paula- had started and ended. "Differen' day, same routine" thought 2D to himself.

2D made his way to the table for breakfast.

"Oi then everyone. Good sleep?" 2D greeted with a yawn. He didn't expect an answer since today was no different than any other; Russel still very much asleep, Murdoc too grumpy or fragile because of a hangover from the previous night and Noodle too much in her own world to catch up with his greeting…

there was a spot open where 2D hated to sit in the morning…Next to Murdoc.

2D was reluctant to sit next to Murdoc in the morning because of his usual violent behaviour, but he sat down anyway and pulled a bowl and spoon closer to him.

"How'd ya sleep dent-head?" Murdoc asked sourly.

"O.K I guess...you muds?"

"Got the mother of all migranes on me case" Murdoc replied as he rubbed his hands over his face and through his black hair. "Deserve it for all the partyin' you get up to at night you bugger." Russel's usual morning words for Murdoc. "Jealousy never got you anywhere with me Russel"

"Yeah, I'm jealous of a Satanist with mismatched eyes. Sure"

"I'm close to kickin' you in the face Hobbs"

"And even closer to HIV Niccals" Russel snickered.

2D watched the 2 band mates bicker over the biggest crap imaginable. He closed his eyes and consentrated on the sound of his chewing and when he opened his eyes the bickering stopped. "Thank sweet earth for silence!" he thought. He knew breakfast never lasted long and before he knew it he was off to his room to get dressed and meet the others for practise.


	2. First Smooth Action

First Smooth Action

"Right then mates. On three we start the song. Don't mess up, don't want me headache worse." Murdoc anounced. Everyone waited for Murdoc's count to start rehersing Dare, one of 2D's favourite songs. He was ready at the keyboard, Murdoc at the bass, Noodle at her Guitar and Russel was steady at his drum kit.

"One"

"Two"

"Three" and that was their que. 2D got ready at his mic and he let the music roll. The song got along well and Murdoc seemed satisfied by the way he was playin' the guitar without looking up. Noodle was enjoying herself while singing her part, after all, it was her song. 2D's part came and he sang it satisfyingly well.

He looked back at Murdoc and caught Noodle's eyes, she smiled at him and he smiled back. He always thought she was cutest when she smiled. He liked seeing her smile, as if someone felt good 'bout having him around. But he knew that Russel was closest to Noodle and didn't like 2D getting' to comfy with her.

"How was that muds?" 2D asked keenly before playing El Manana.

"Was fine, now shuddup and play face-ache" Murdoc ordered.

Even though he was used to it, it hurt 2D every time, but its what made Murdoc Murdoc. He turned back and waited for another count. The music started and he waited for the usual soothing feeling to come around, but even now music couldn't cure him of his boredom…


	3. Training Camp

Training Camp

"You'll remember that 2D-san?" Noodle asked 2D for like the 7th time.

"Yes luv I go' it. Milk, cereal, eggs, butter, cigarettes and…."

Noodle raised an eyebrow, "and?"

"uuuhmm" 2D searched his mind. "2D-san!" Noodle exclaimed.

"Just chill luv I'll remember the noodles OK?" 2D teased. Noodle turned to walk back to her room, she stopped, turned to look at 2D and tapped her index finger to the side of her head, "I will!" 2D said assuringly and turned around to hear Murdoc calling, "Oi, dim-witt, we hav' places t' go!" 2D ran to meet Murdoc at the rental Hummer. It was one of his favourites, but it was one of the monthly cars they rented to keep paparazzi off their tracks so it wouldn't stay long.

"Can listen to the radio 'f ya wana" Murdoc notified 2D.

"Thanx muds, I pick the station?"

"Course" Muds said without takin' his eyes off the road. 2D switched on the radio and Dare was half way through. "Nice choice D." Murdoc laughed.

"We sound pretty good!" 2D said. "Happens when you practise, D." Murdoc said in a 'matter of fact' way. "Ya fink we sounded good tiday?" the earlier incident refreshed in 2D's mind as he asked the same question.

"It sounded awright." Murdoc flashed a faint smile 2D's way. 2D smiled widely and felt good about himself now. He stared out the window and caught a sign he'd never noticed before. "hey muds slow down a bit.." 2D asked as they were closin' down on the billboard. "Wot isit?" Murdoc looked through 2D's window. "M..Mi…Military Training course." 2D read as they passed the sign.

"don't remember tha' there before." Murdoc said thoughtfully. "Sounds cool, can we take a look on our way back t' Kong?" 2D asked. Murdoc looked at 2D in thought, "please muds. We havn't had fun since ya knocked me eyes out!" 2D pleaded. Murdoc laughed and gave the OK. 2D was already excited.

'Just fink of the guns man!' He thought to himself.

But he didn't know that the guns weren't the only thing he was going to like, in that course…


	4. Groceries

Finding parking space was easy on a Monday, in fact, Monday was the best day for going out to do anything. Everyone was at their first day at work and eager to get home and rest after a long day which meant no wild fans, no usual fights for parking, no busy shops, but yet there was the paparazzi…who never sleep and who are always out and about…They were everywhere quite frankly.

Murdoc liked the attention, 2D wasn't so fond of it…well unless a hot girl took interest in him, but even if some playgirl eyes him, hes still a bit shy and he knows that they might seem to like him at first, but will end up in Murdoc's bed one or other time….just like Paula.

"Nice quiet today, just the way you like it stu-pot." Murdoc said as he made his way across the road with 2D right behind him like a shadow.

"Yeah, I love Mondays" 2D said happily. "Hate 'em," Murdoc said, "all the clubs are empty on Monday." 2D laughed. "Typical…trust you to start a party" 2D continued.

"OK I'm makin' my way over to the ciggs, you get the milk and eggs and crap Noodle wanted." Murdoc said as he turned to the woman at the counter. "Right" 2D agreed as he turned down the isle where the milk and things were.

_Now it was milk..._

_Check._

_Butter…_

_Check._

_Oats…_

_Check._

_And…..aaaannd….uuuh…_ "Ah shit! Noodle is gona kill me!....wait…That's it! Noodles!"

_Check!_ 2D was very pleased for remembering!

_Ah I knew I had it in me! _Atleast Murdoc didn't knock ALL his brains out.


	5. At the Camp

On their way back to Kong, Murdoc took a road that 2D feared he would take…He hated that road, it was the road where he'd gained so many bruises by a drunken Murdoc…the road to Dead Drake's Club…where Murdoc picked up his partners for the night…

Then came the words 2D was afraid of hearing, "Maybe we can pick up some ladies for the night ay?" Murdoc asked with an evil smile…2D knew he wasn't really asking… "But muds you promised we'd go check out that military place!" 2D protested. "Don't test me, military courses don't run away, hot girls do, I'll take you another time."

"But muds you still hav' a light head from last nights party, can't you drop me off at the course and you can pick me up when you have your girls?" 2D insisted.

Murdoc hated reasoning with 2D in the car…probably because he couldn't hit him as hard as on ground, but because focusing on the road and resisting 2D's childish requests were hard to do at the same time.

"fine I'll take you there and pick you up in 2 hours. 2 hours not 4 or 40, 2 hours, OK dent-head?" Murdoc growled. "thank yew mate!" 2D said all in high spirits, not because he got his way, but because he did so without getting smacked lights out!

"Right, in how many hours will I come get you?" Murdoc asked 2D to see if he remembered. "2" Stu replied confidently. "Right, good boy. Don't kill yourself without me awright?" Murdoc chuckled. 2D ignored the last joke and waved the Satanist off.

2D stepped into the gates and there was a gravel road leading to who knew where and sand everywhere…Funny how a slight off-road could lead to a desert-like place. And wouldn't a place like this have guards or something?

Not long after he asked himself that question, a stout oldish man-probably in his 50's- wearing a sweaty white vest and baggy camouflage trousers and leather boots walked up to 2D, red faced and looking annoyed…

_Uh oh…._


	6. Busted Heads

The man screwed up his eyes to get a better look at 2D, 2D thought he recognized who he was because the man soon gave an impressed smile.

"Halo there son. Mr. Pot I presume?" the man said as he shook 2D's hand.

2D smiled, "Yes sir."

"I am Mr. Doltino, I'm the trainer here. So what bring a singer out to this part?"

"I was curious to see what goes on in here sir. Do you mind telling me? Is it like if you take a course you have to join the military or what?" 2D asked worriedly…he didn't think he'd be cut out for the army life, seeing as how he struggled to fight off the heat for only a few hours in the Dirty Harry video.

"No way son, here we teach you self-defense, gun use, that kinda thing and then when your course is complete, you walk away." He said reassuringly.

_Phew!_ 2D breathed. "BUT, we're booked full for the day, but you're welcome to check out my student bust up the course." 2D actually wanted to handle some guns, but seeing as he was stuck there for 2 hours he might as well see what they can do.

"Sure!"

They drove for a long while on a bumpy road on an impressive Humvee. They finally reached a huge building, almost like a warehouse surrounded by a lot of sand and bushes. "looks shabby don't it?" Doltino asked as he lead 2D into the warehouse. "No kiddin''" 2D said disappointed. He soon swallowed his disappointment when he entered the doors of the warehouse…everything was titanium this, concrete this, steel that, target room here, shooting range there, dojo on that end and…..GUNS everywhere!! "Wow! This place is amazing!" 2D exclaimed! He was in Heaven! "Could've fooled you ay?" Doltino said proudly.

He showed 2D the room where they practised taking guns apart and shooting them, the self-defense classes. All the people taking part were amazing!

He saw some nice girls, and they certainly saw him! A few were scolded for being distracted by him. "The ladies know who you are…" Doltino winked and 2D laughed. "But if you think these trinkets are something, you should see my main training facility…and the student to match it." 2D listened intently.

They walked up to a sound-proof room, bigger than the rest and there were 3walls closing a second room in the one they were in, and the 4th wall was a 50cm thick, bullet proof pane of glass. "This room, is where heads are busted."


	7. Death Herself

The sounds of gunshots had faded, the room was darker. The other room was half full of sand and had walls here and there, a rope here and an open space here and one target space there…all was quiet. The silence was killing 2D. "Who is in here?" 2D asked in a low whisper. "Death herself my boy." Doltino said with the evil smile that Murdoc has dirty ideas in his mind. "_Her_self?" 2D repeated confused. "You'll see"

A few seconds later after Doltino had spoken the last words, a girl blasted through the door of the other room and she rolled to a small brick wall. She was so quick 2D could only see her redish hair frip. She pulled out a pistol and shot at flashing targets, she hit the red spot on all 8 targets in lightning speed, "WoW!!" 2D exclaimed in awe. Then through the same door 3 men in black all with guns attacked her from behind…2D thought they'd gotten her until she flipped back onto her hands and grabbed the closest man's shotgun between her legs!

When she was on ground she jumped and turned, grabbed the gun between her legs and shot the man in the chest. "Can't he get 'urt?" 2D asked concerned. "Not real bullets my friend" Doltino laughed. The girl shot the second man and then she was out of bullets, she ran for the rope on the other side and jumped to grab hold of it, she started swaying herself dodging the 3rd man's bullets and she jumped over the solid wall on the left side of the room. 2D moved to the left side of the glass to see the other side of the wall, again, the girl was against the back wall with 2D men in suits blocking her. 2D's mouth dropped open, the suspense was killing him! Then she did the most unbelievable thing…took out her iPod, plugged them securely into her ears, "she uses music to get the beat into her moves. In fact, she uses a lot of your music." Doltino said. 2D was proud, VERY proud indeed! She walked with a swagger up to the men. She did a wave move with her arms and that's when the 1st man threw a punch, she dodged it, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, he tried punching with the other hand but she caught it too. When she had both hands she swung them around behind his back, she put her leather boot between his shoulder blades and she pushed him forward into the wall. "Hes out!" Doltino said, he was enjoying himself very much. 2D couldn't believe a girl could be that strong! She was amazing! The 2nd man lunged at her with a windmill kick but she swayed back and punched him in the stomach, then she dropped to her hands and one foot, and used the other to swipe the man's legs right out from under him! Before he hit the ground she punched him again. Then it was all over.


	8. Miss Brovokavitch

"Wasn't that a show of the year!" a very impressed Doltino said.

2D still could NOT believe it was possible for a girl to be has amazing as she was. She walked to the glass and soluted Doltino, 2D could get a better look at her now…She had deep redish hair, not orange, a shade of red, she had pale white skin. She wore a maroon thin strap top that showed off a little of her flat belly at the bottom, she wore baggy camouflage army trousers tucked into her long leather army boots. She was hot. Her fringe of her hair was a long strand of hair running infront of her left eye, the strand grew wider as it went shorter until it just passed her nose and was above her right eye. 2D had never seen such a cut before. The rest of her waist-length hair was tied up in a high pony-tail by a leather ribbon like in the Viking movies. She walked to the door on the other side and she stopped right infront of 2D, she looked right into him with one of her bright green eyes, she gave him a light smile that gave him the chills, he was unable to move…she turned her head and walked away through the door and she walked over to Doltino. 2D watched her every move.

Her and Doltino spoke until Doltino said something that 2D was hoping he would say, "Mr. Pot, come meet Death herself" he had a good laugh, all 2D could get out was a light giggle and red cheeks.

He walked to the two people and waited for an introduction. He walked right into her stare and her smile. "2D, this is Kiva Brovokavitch. She is the best of the best, wanted in 4 countries, trained fighter pilot and gunman. She has experience in any possible war field." 2D couldn't believe his ears. 4 COUNTRIES! This girl had it all.

"She is only 19. Anyway, miss Kiva, I'm sure you recognise this young man." 2D blushed again.

"I do. And Mr. Pot I would like you to know that its your songs that get me through my fights." She held out her hand for him to shake, she had a pure Russian accent and her words were not what he expected to hear from a death machine like her. He shook her hand, she had gentle hands, not like the ones he'd imagine holding a gun, never! "I'm honoured to meet you Miss Borvo…Brova" He wanted to hide his head in a pale of water! He couldn't even pronounce her name! Miss BRO-VOK-A-VITCH found it funny, "Kiva is fine ."

"And 2D is fine for me."


End file.
